things that happen to americans

Today I had no classes and I got ready to explore the trails and castles at Manzanares el Real, which is 45 minutes outside of Madrid. Unfortunately the interurbano schedule didn't work out for me, so I thought next best thing was to take a walk in the Casa de Campo, Madrid's largest green space, and maybe visit the zoo inside. Still dressed in my very American-looking hiking outfit.


Morning
When I got there, I noticed a bunch of old men walking around, and I assumed it was a regular neighborhood joint for old people to exercise. So here I was in this great public park, taking pictures like this:

Casa de Campo.

Then this old guy in a suit comes up to me and says, "Walk with me?"

"Uhhh...no..."

"Well it's dangerous here. You need to walk with someone else. There are maricas here doing each other in the bushes."

"Uhhhh...."

"Here, come into these trees with me."

"No..."
"The maricas are very dangerous. Here, let's go now."

"No...I'm going to the zoo."

(pretends he can't understand me) "What?"
"The zoo. I know where I'm going. Bye!"

"You don't need help?"

At which point I do the "gracias, no, adios, hasta nunca" and walk away as quickly but calmly as possible. (Apparently straight into some prostitutes in the zoo's parking lot)

Early Afternoon

It was impossible to get past the zoo's parking lot because there were no clear signs directing traffic to the actual zoo, plus I was scared of having another situation with a sketchball, so I gave up and walked back to the metro and went to the Principe Pio neighborhood to take a a walk in the Campo de Moro instead or visit the Temple Debod. Well, the Campo de Moro was closed for no discernible reason and the Temple Debod was unfindable. I think I walked past this glorieta in the center of Principe Pio 5 times today:

My last time walking past it was to get to the bus stop on the other side in a novel approach to finding the Temple Debod. And then the bus I climbed onto just busted out of the neighborhood entirely and I died a little bit.


Afternoon
I was so sad on the damn C2 bus, I really was. I rode until I felt like getting off, which was the Atocha station. Here you can take a light rail anywhere. I went up to a billete machine to find inspiration, and I found a cheap train for Alcala de Henares, which I got excited about because it was the birthplace of Cervantes. And so I was reading every button on the machine and trying to figure out where/when I should insert the money, and then ANOTHER GUY comes up to me, and oh god I am of course dressed in my extranjero clothes with a bewildered look on my face, and inserts himself into the process with his helpful hints and unsolicited whatnot, and while he's staring at me the whole time I get really annoyed, so I refuse to give him his tip.

I'd never been targeted as a foreigner until today. It shook me a bit, to feel like I would be actively sought, and because of the way I dressed.


Late afternoon
The rest of the day went much better. Alcala de Henares is a small town, but the Calle Mayor was great for shopping (yes! American instant gratification!) and sightseeing. Honestly I was just super interested in Cervantes' life there, and visited a few cultural sites like the University de Alcala and the Catedral de los Santos Ninos just because I was in town. I wish I could take pictures in Cervantes' house--it was two stories high with a central courtyard setup, unfortunately drastically renovated recently, but nonetheless still filled with special prints of Don Quijote and marble cabinets decorated with scenes from the novel.

Cervantes' birthplace.

In conclusion, a looong day but I am glad I had my adventures. Right now I'm watching "Tu si que vales" with my host family, have been since 10pm, just found out it goes until 5am. Soo I'm going to pass out instead because I am a weak little American.